While training with a partner to improve premature ejaculation, anxiety can really mess things up, literally. The best way to combat performance anxiety is to pleasure your partner first until they are satisfied. This doesn’t mean they need to orgasm necessarily. Use manual or oral stimulation or their favorite sex toy. Once your partner is satisfied, you won’t need to worry about jacking too quickly. This will make you way more relaxed and focused on your own performance. If you don’t know how to pleasure them orally or manually, do some research and then just ask them what they like!
Tip: a flat moist tongue pressed against a female’s vagina is the perfect tool for her to grind against. If your inexperienced with oral don’t overthink it. Warm her up and tease with light kisses around her groin, and then give her your tongue, with constant pressure and let her do what feels good!
Must read: She Comes First by Ian Kerner
In training, you learned to ease into foreplay with a 5-minute warm-up. Use this same technique with your partner. You can use the timer if you want – and have your partner lightly touch and caress you without directly stroking your penis. Remember not to get carried away with anxiety about pre-jacking. Just focus on the pleasure they are giving you and enjoy the physical sensations. If the foreplay becomes too much just tell them to stop until you regain control. The purpose of step 1 is to ease into arousal so make sure you are taking your deep belly breaths and keeping a low level of arousal. If your arousal gets away from you, stop and bring it back down using belly breathing.
After the foreplay period, you can move onto the skills you learned in level 3 training. Your partner will stimulate your penis with their hand using slow strokes. Every time you feel yourself losing control tell them to stop and take a break, belly breathing until you have regained control. Repeat this until you can last for an extended period without jacking.
Repeat the same thing as in step 2 but get your partner to use lubricant. This will increase the sensation and help you prepare for intercourse.
Same steps as 2 & 3 but add oral sex.
Ok now, you’re going in! This step is a big one. You are going to be entering into your partner and it can be overwhelming. This step may take a number of attempts to complete but don’t get discouraged. Begin with foreplay like the other steps but then have your partner guide your penis inside of them. Make sure they are in a position where they can easily lift off your penis and control the speed on your penis. For some this might take several attempts before full entry inside your partner can happen without ejaculation. Once you are fully inside your partner you need to remain motionless, like a statue, for 3 minutes. You can use the timer for this. Once you remain inside for 3 minutes on 3 separate occasions (9 minutes total) you can move onto the next step. During the 3 minutes of playing statue inside your partner make sure you are breathing and spend the time trying to relax and keep your arousal down. This won’t be easy for some but it is possible so keep at it.
In step 6 your partner can start to move. You need to just lie on your back and concentrate on the sensations in your penis, thighs, and abdomen as your partner lifts up slowly and back down. Tell them how fast to move and when to stop and start. Follow the same steps as in training level 3, stopping and regaining control as you approach the point of no return. When you feel the point of no return coming tell your partner to stop moving, you can stay inside of them but they should remain completely still. Once you bring your arousal back down they can start moving slowly again. You will start to take shorter breaks and longer streaks, just as in solo training. Repeat this until you reach your goal and then you can ejack!
As you gain more control inside your partner you can vary the positions to give yourself more control of movement. You on top and doggy style tend to be the hardest so save those for last.
This program might seem like a workout or physio routine, and that’s basically what it is. But it won’t be that way forever. Once you learn to control your ejaculation won’t need to think about it anymore. It is the same way you learned to control your bladder as a child. You don’t still pee your pants, do you? Once you learn to control your ejaculation you and your partner can explore each other freely without this routine and enjoy all aspects of sex without the limitations of premature ejaculations.