How to Last Longer in Bed – 15 Ways to Last Longer During Sex
Premature ejaculation sucks. We all know it.
You are all ready to make love all night long. So is your partner. Then you get down to it and two strokes later it’s all over.
You feel like you have to apologize. You try to explain, “This never happens to me.” She’s looking at you with a disappointed look. And you know she’s going to tell all her friends that your average time is a nanosecond.
It feels like shit and there is nothing at that moment that you can do about it.
That said, lots of men experience premature ejaculation and even erectile dysfunction from time to time. And many have found ways to overcome it.
So there is hope. The truth is that a third of all men will have to deal with rapid ejaculation at some point in their lives.
Usually, this happens in their 20s or 30s – right at the prime of their sexual life. But it can happen at any age. The important thing is to learn how to deal with it so that it doesn’t become worse.
There are ways to overcome premature ejaculation. The way that works for you, you’ll have to find out through trial and error.
That said, at least one of the methods that we suggest will work. You can be a man of steel in the sack again.
It will take some patience to delay ejaculation and the ability to know that you will overcome this problem and rock your partners’ world with sexual pleasure in the future.
Reasons That Impact Your Performance in Bed
Look, it happens to all men. Foreplay goes on too long or the girl is just so hot we can’t help ourselves. And we shoot off early.
If it only happens once your partner will probably be flattered. But if you let it get in your head, you’ll have a long-term problem.
If you go into sex worried about how you’ll perform you’ll end up shooting off too quickly every time. This is called performance anxiety. It’s a bad cycle.
The best thing to do would be to not worry about the one time you were a two-pump chump. But most guys can’t do that. So, they make the problem worse with their worries.
Premature ejaculation happens. And often it’s guys who end up worrying about it. Women know that there are many ways a dude can please them that don’t involve their dick. But for guys, if they don’t last that long it’s a big blow to their ego.
Figuring out premature ejaculation varies from man to man and couple to couple. In general, premature ejaculation is when you orgasm after a couple of strokes of entering her.
For some men, it could mean that they cum after a few minutes. This isn’t premature ejaculation, but it can feel like it to the average dude, particularly if he’s been watching porn and seen dudes last half an hour.
The definition of premature ejaculation is that the man comes in less than a minute. This can lead to dudes being worried every time they have sex and can become a bad cycle.
Dudes think that every other dude can control when they cum. This makes them more worried about it and they keep cumming too quickly.
There are many causes of premature ejaculation. The most common one is that the girl is just so hot you can’t control yourself. The second reason is that foreplay has gone on so long you are j just too excited.
Other causes include prostate problems, depression, stress, and conflict with your partner.
It’s important that you figure out what is causing your premature ejaculation. Then you can address the root cause and find a solution that works for you.
3 types of premature ejaculation
Lifelong Premature Ejaculation
Lifelong premature ejaculation is generally a psychological problem. It begins the first time a dude has sex and then continues throughout their life.
Every time they have sex, they cum in less than a minute which makes them more likely to cum quickly the next time. It gets in their head and won’t get out.
If you have this problem, you should probably see a therapist who can help you work out your issues and overcome the problem in a few months. That’s better than sucking in bed your entire life.
This type of premature ejaculation seems to crop up out of nowhere.
You start having sex with girls and everything works the way it is supposed to work. You feel like you are the king of the bedroom. Then one time you shoot as soon as you get inside her. Then it happens the next time. And the time after that. And the time after that. Suddenly you are a pre-jack.
This can happen because of psychological factors or be something physical. You could be stressed out. You could be depressed. You might suffer from anxiety from the first premature ejaculation.
Focusing on what is causing acquired premature ejaculation will help you find out how you can best address it and find the right solution for yourself.
Erectile Dysfunction or ED
This is the flip side of the coin of premature ejaculation. You can’t get hard enough to penetrate your partner. Or you get hard but go limp once you are inside her without ejaculating. This is worse than premature ejaculation because your girl is going to think that you find her unattractive.
Just like with premature ejaculation this happens to most men once or twice in their lives. But for some dudes, it can become a chronic condition.
For some, erectile dysfunction will be because of psychological reasons. For others, it will be a symptom of a bigger problem such as high blood pressure.
Because erectile dysfunction can be a sign of a more serious health issue when it happens to you the first thing you should do is see a doctor and get a checkup. This could save your life.
15 Ways to Last Longer in Sex
Pelvic Floor Exercises
Having strong pelvic floor muscles will make premature ejaculation tend to end and erectile dysfunction much rarer.
A lot of dudes think that Kegels are just exercises for women. They are not. They can help a guy last longer just as much as they can give a girl a better grip on your dick.
To find your Kegel, wait until you are going to the bathroom. Then while you are peeing, make yourself stop and hold it. Then release and let your pee flow. Then stop it again.
That’s your Kegel muscle. Practice this a few times when you are peeing, and you’ll be able to flex it when you aren’t peeing.
Another way to find your pelvic muscles is to stand in front of a mirror and lift your balls without using your hands. If you can do this, you have strong pelvic muscles. That said at first most guys are going to have to use the peeing method.
Once you know where your Kegels are it’s time to get to work. Contract them like you are stopping yourself from peeing. Hold that contraction for 10 seconds before letting go. Do this 10 times in a row.
If you do pelvic floor exercises every day, you’ll start gaining control of your ejaculation. This will help you last longer when you are in the sack.
Scientific studies show that this method is one of the most effective ways to delay ejaculation. Peer reviewed studies back in 2005 revealed that nearly 75% of men improved their sexual functioning after performing Kegel exercises.
In another study, it has been found that over 60% of men were able to delay ejaculation through pelvic floor muscle rehabilitation.
Limit Your Thrusting
You don’t have to jackhammer away at your partner. For one, she’s probably not getting off on it. For another, it is probably contributing to your premature ejaculation.
Jackhammering only happens in porn and not in real life. Instead, there are a lot of other things you can do besides vaginal sex.
For example, a lot of women like it when you rub the tip of your penis against their clit. That’s not going to give you too much stimulation but might give them a ton of clitoral stimulation.
Another thing you can do is get inside her and figure out where her G spot is. Then just slowly move your penis around her G-spot.
All of this will stimulate you less, making premature ejaculation much less likely. Talk to your partner about your partner’s pleasure preferences and prolong pleasure for her as well as yourself.
Wait for the Ultimate Sexual Satisfaction
Not to dent your ego, but in general, women don’t come from you thrusting in and out of them. They may like the sensation, but it’s not going to get them off.
Only 18% of women get their rocks off from being jackhammered. This means that more than 80% of chicks you are with are going to need something else to get them off. That’s why you can put off entering them until they’ve already cum.
You can do this by fingering them. You can – unless you are Batman – perform oral sex. You can explore any kinks they might have. You can use toys on them.
Figure out what they need to get off and do it. Then once they’ve cum they’ll be fine if you are only engaging in penetrative sex for a minute or two.
Make Things Exciting by Switching Sex Positions
Mixing things up is important during sex. Most women don’t want a guy who just does missionary during sexual intercourse. That’s boring. And you aren’t a boring guy, right?
That’s the point in trying out a lot of different sex positions. And the best part is while you are changing positions, your dick isn’t being stimulated. That will give you some time to calm down and not pre-ejaculate.
Sure, start off with missionary but then pull out, put her on her hands and knees and do her doggy for a minute or two. Then stop and ask her to get on top. Then switch to reverse cowgirl.
Not only will this make her think you are an imaginative lover, but it will also give you the time you need to calm down and have sex last longer.
Choose the Sexual Position That Will Help You Last Longer in Bed
If you’ve had sex before you know that some positions stimulate your dick more than others. Doggy style, for example, provides a lot of stimulation for your cock so if you have premature ejaculation problems is not recommended.
Probably the best positions for dudes who experience premature ejaculation are cowgirl (girl on top) or reverse cowgirl (girl on top facing away from you.) These provide less stimulation to your penis and what’s better, more stimulation to her clitoris. She’s more likely to get off and you are less likely to explode early. It’s a win/win situation for everyone involved.
Experiment a bit and figure out which positions provide you with enough stimulation for it to be worth it for you but not so much your dick jumps the gun.
How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice. While this joke is old, there is wisdom in it.
You can practice sex at home to make it less likely that you will prematurely ejaculate when you are with a partner. This technique is called “edging” and it’s simple.
Find some porn you like and bring out your bottle of lube. Watch the porn and jerk off. Then when you feel you are about to cum, stop. Let your penis calm down. Once you are ready start jerking off again. Once again stop when you are about to cum.
This trains your dick to not shoot off that quickly. It ends up expecting to have to go for a long time. Keep practicing until you can go an hour without cumming.
Be sure to use lube though because you don’t want to end up chafing your dick. That will not feel good and will cause other problems.
This method works for some dudes and not for others. You’ll just have to try it out and see what it does for you. Don’t feel bad if it doesn’t work, but it is worth a shot.
Start having sex with your girl. When you feel you are about to cum pull out and then give a hard squeeze right below the head of your dick. This may cause your orgasm to be delayed and you can go right back to fucking her.
With some dudes, however, this method will cause them to shoot off right away. It’s just the way your body is set up, so don’t kick yourself if this method doesn’t work out for you.
Masturbate Prior to a Sexual Encounter
Jerking off before a date can help with your premature ejaculation problems. Teenage and college-age boys have been doing this for years. If you know you blow fast on your first orgasm but then last longer the second time you have sex this technique is bound to work.
When you are in the shower getting ready for your date crack one out and you’ll last longer when you are with your girl. This takes the edge off and is a great way to last longer when you are in her holiest of holies.
If you try this once and still have a problem, you can always jerk off twice before your date. Best of all, she never has to know about it but will love the effect it will have when you make love.
Wear the Right Condom for You
In general, during sex, condoms are your friend. And if you have premature ejaculation problems, they can be helpful.
If you’ve been riding bareback just switching to any condom may help reduce sensation and make you last longer. If you’ve been using condoms already find thicker condoms. If you are already using thick condoms, you can look for specialty condoms that have numbing agents in them that will reduce the sensation you get.
All of these are great ways to make premature ejaculation a thing of the past while also providing the safest sex experience for your partner.
Consult with Your Doctor About Sexual Medicine
The big secret about anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication is that they can also boost your sex life in that if you take the right ones, they will affect your brain and make it harder for you to come.
For a lot of guys, that’s a bad thing. But for guys suffering from premature ejaculation, it can be a godsend.
Obviously, you don’t want to just buy anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medicine off the internet. Instead, go in and have an honest conversation with your doctor.
Tell him or her what problems you are having. Trust me, they’ve heard it all before. They can then prescribe you pills that should help the problem.
Be aware however that it will probably take two or three weeks for the pills to become effective. Good things come to those who wait.
Apply Anesthetic Wipes
Benzocaine wipes are available at most sex shops and easy to buy online. They claim to help guys last longer. And that’s backed up by a scientific study done in 2017.
That said, there are pluses and minuses to using the wipes.
Yes, they should help numb your dick so that you last longer. But they are also going to numb your partner during sexual activity, which makes reaching orgasm more difficult for her.
Plus, she may end up having an allergic reaction to them. This is a method you want to discuss in detail with your partner before you try it.
And when you buy the wipes don’t buy anything with more than 4% benzocaine numbing agent. Anything higher risks your penis becoming so numb that there is no point at all in having sex in the first place.
Utilize Technology That Can Help You Last Long During Sex
When all else fails, why not try science? The FDA has investigated premature ejaculation problems. And they recently approved a device called Prolong. This device costs $299. It is essentially a vibrating jerk-off machine, like many sex toys. It comes with a guidebook and some lube.
You must follow a six-week training program before you can expect results. The machine comes with studs and vibrations, which help fine-tune oversensitive sweet spots just beneath the head of the penis. It allows you to have optimum control of your climax.
We have not tried this method but if you have a few hundred bucks lying around, it can’t hurt.
Consult with an Expert
Talking to a doctor is a good way to get to the heart of your premature ejaculation problem. Start off with your regular doctor. He should be able to tell you if the problem or some other underlying health condition.
Problems can include a low testosterone level, metabolic syndrome, heart disease, problems with your blood vessels, an issue with your central nervous system, or even multiple sclerosis. If the problem is serious, there are treatment options, a permanent cure, or a medical treatment that will also give you good erectile function.
Of course, it might just be that you need to eat better and exercise and the problem will go away.
If that’s not the issue he or she may recommend you see another doctor. This will either be a urologist, a therapist, or a sex therapist. You’ll see a urologist if he thinks there might be physical factors to your premature ejaculation problems. He’ll send you to a therapist or sex therapist if he or she thinks the problem is in your head.
Take their advice. And consider what they say seriously. Doctors have dealt with erectile function in lots of dudes and they won’t think less of you for it.
Physical problems can be dealt with easily. If the problem is psychological, a few sessions of sex therapy should be enough to make it go away. And there is no shame in sex therapy – it will only help you with male ejaculation.
Use a Delay Spray
There are a ton of delay sprays out on the market to treat premature ejaculation. The general deal is you get hard, you spray the stuff on, and then your nerve endings get slightly numbed, thus delaying ejaculation.
They are sold under various brand names and will work if your problem is that you are getting too stimulated. You want one with a metered spraying mechanism so that you use exactly what you need and not any more or any less.
When used along with regular pelvic floor exercises, they have been shown to help a lot of guys last longer in bed.
The good news with delaying sprays is that in general, they will not cause your partner to go numb. They are absorbed into your skin, so the amount of transfer is kept to a minimum. This makes them a better go-to than the delaying wipes.
Again, while this will work for some guys, it won’t for others. That said delaying spray is cheap, so why not give it a go and see if it helps with your sexual experience?
Address Performance Anxiety Issues
By far the most common reason for having premature ejaculation issues or erectile dysfunction is anxiety, more so than other psychological aspects.
We live in a world that is full of stress. Between the pressures of our jobs, Covid, dealing with other people, and the state of the world it’s not crazy to suffer some form of anxiety. And then there are medical reasons why some people become anxious.
All this plays into just how well your penis works in the real world.
And you could be creating your own anxiety. If you prematurely ejaculate once that can make you nervous the next time and trigger it to happen again. Your mind and body work hand in hand.
That said, because anxiety is so common doctors have been studying it for years and know the best ways to address it.
Start out by having an honest conversation with your primary care doctor. They may be able to see what is causing your anxiety and offer a prescription that will help with it. Xanax and Wellbutrin are common drugs used to treat anxiety and may be able to offer you some real help.
They may send you off to a therapist. There is no shame in sex therapy. Talking with a mental health professional for a few sessions may offer you insights on how to control your anxiety. And they may also be able to prescribe medication that can help.
The important thing is to not hide from your anxiety. People suffer from it all the time. Particularly at this point in history, there are certainly enough triggers out there to make anyone anxious.
For example, if you’ve been in lockdown for a few months your first sexual encounter might logically lead to premature ejaculation. Don’t get hung up on that.
The thing is to address your anxiety issues and make them a thing of the past so that you can become a good lover again.
A few quick ideas to help you combat sexual performance anxiety:
Don’t Give Up
Dealing with anxiety may take some time. It might be two or three months before you get it somewhat under control. That’s to be expected.
The thing is to keep working at it until you have overcome it, whether you try our suggestions or other techniques. If it takes six months, it takes six months. That’s a lot better than a lifetime of suffering from it.
Your goal is to beat anxiety. That won’t happen overnight.
Open Up to Your Partner About Your Anxiety
If you are stressed or think you have anxiety issues, tell your partner. She’s not going to freak out. Most likely she’s suffered from anxiety or depression at some point in her life too.
In fact, you’ll probably get points for opening up to her. The biggest complaint about men that women have is that we are too closed off.
So talk to your partner and express yourself. She may have some tips to help you get over your anxiety.
Release What You Cannot Change
People think that only women suffer from body image issues. That’s simply not true.
Guys have problems with their body image as well. You may think you are too skinny or too fat. You may think you are too small or too short.
All of these things can build up in you as anxiety. Then they are expressed by ou having problems in bed.
Take a good hard look at yourself. Is your problem with your body something you can change? If not, just accept it. Remember the old expression, “You are somebody’s fetish.”
Improve Aspects You Can Change
There are things you can change. If your blood pressure is causing your premature ejaculation, you can exercise and eat healthier and bring it under control.
If being overweight is causing you stress, you can address that as well.
There are things about our bodies that we have control over. Figure out what they are and then do what you need to do to take control of your body and your future.
Consult with a Sex Therapist
If your insurance will cover it you might want to check out a licensed sex therapist. He or she will be an expert at dealing with premature ejaculation issues.
They can talk to you and figure out if there is a psychological basis for your problem. If there is, they can then work with you to break through that issue so that you can go back to having a normal sex life.
It is an option you should grab ahold of if you can. Because honestly, everyone deserves the best sex life they can have.
If you are suffering from premature ejaculation problems or erectile dysfunction there are a lot of potential causes. It could be a physical problem or come from psychological issues.
Before you can address the problem, you have to figure out what the route cause is. Once you understand that you can try out the various ways, we have laid out to make the problem a thing of the past.
There is no shame in suffering from premature ejaculation. It happens to a lot of guys.
The shame is simply living with it and not doing something about it.