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I’m going to share my long history with premature ejaculation in hopes that it makes my fellow Prejackers feel hopeful about their situation, it’s also a success story so let it sink in while reading. Even after prematurely ejaculating my whole life I was able to overcome the problem and start to last longer in bed in my mid 20’s.

‘I had Lifelong premature ejaculation’

Lifelong premature ejaculation is what they call it, which means you have been unable to control ejaculation since you first started having sex. And it’s probably what you have if you have always thought to yourself ‘why do I ejaculate so fast?’. There are many theories as to what causes lifelong PE, in my case the answer is pretty clear when looking back at my first sexual experiences.. Let’s take a trip down memory lane.

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Porn

My first exposure to porn was on a site called sublime directory – my older brother showed the site to me, and at the time there was little 30 second clips that I would secretly download and watch on our shared family computer. Then I would run to the bathroom and masturbate once I was fired up from the short porn videos. It was a secretive and rushed experience. (red flag)

Eventually that evolved into some weird game I would play with myself about how quickly I could get hard and orgasm- essentially training myself to prematurely ejaculate on demand.. back when I first started this I’m pretty sure I was having dry orgasms so it was pretty anticlimactic.

Anyways being forced to masturbate secretly meant it was always rushed and I always had a sense of anxiety or guilt of being caught..so looking back I probably created a game where I felt good about doing it fast. I think I started masturbating when I was about 10 years old so that went on for 5 years until I had my first sexual experience and by then speedy ejaculation was a way of life.

As a young adult I would watch porn the same way; I would search for a specific type of scene that got me really turned on – my arousal would sky rocket and I would be close to orgasm before I even started masturbating. I’d then skip through the video to a part that really turned me on or the money shot so I could pretend it was me and finish.. Does this soundes familiar?

If this routine sounds familiar then you can now confidently place some of the blame for your quick ejaculation on the Porn industry!

Why do I cum so fast

Addiction to orgasm

My first sexual experiences were in highschool with a girl I had a crush on. I would go visit her at her house and she would sneak out the basement door to see me. Sometimes we would kiss and makeout outside her basement door and eventually it advanced to 2nd base? or is it 3rd? Anyways – handjobs LOL. But the encounters were always rushed because she was sneaking out and it was exciting and quick.

Because all of my previous sexual experience to that point had been on myself – the whole encounter for me became about me reaching orgasm, like in order for it to be over so she could sneak back inside I had to cum fast. So I would clench my pelvic floor and focus on cumming quickly.

I had basically become addicted to the sensation of orgasming, and I had to do it after I felt any sort of arousal building, kind of like an alcoholic who has a sip of alcohol and then needs to get drunk. This theory makes perfect sense when you look at what’s happening to the brain during an orgasm. The Lateral orbitofrontal cortex shuts down, and a cocktail of happy chemicals are released – similar to the reaction that happens when you take drugs or alcohol – a study published by the Journal of Neuroscience backs this up, reporting that a man’s brain during orgasm looks very similar to that of a person taking heroin.

Biology

Another more scientific reason that men prematurely ejaculate is simple biology and the survival of the fittest or in this case – survival of the quickest. Back when we were wild there was no Netflix and chill, there was probably nothing chill about sex. Our heads would be on a swivel, scanning for dangerous predators. So when it came to sex, being quick would be a competitive advantage.. you could quickly pass on your seed and ensure that your genes carried on.

Unfortunately our nervous system doesn’t evolve as quickly as culture and for the most part we are still wired with the same stress responses as our neanderthal cousins. So even though you might be anxious about something totally trivial, from your nervous system’s perspective there might as well be a giant lion stalking you. Your nervous systems reacts by activating your sympathetic nervous system which among other things will make you ejaculate quickly.

Framed this way your premature ejaculation actually makes you a formidable man and survivor. Give yourself and your biology some credit.

As I became more aware of my arousal and the underlying reasons for my premature ejaculation it became a lot easier to overcome, so take some time and think about your history with ejaculation and what might have led you here. If you want to start retraining yourself then try out my app Pea! There is a virtual sex therapist in the app who will teach you everything you need to know to start training and then 3 levels of interactive training that I used on myself to start lasting longer – now I am in a longterm relationship and have sex for 20 mins+ without having to even think about it.. You can too its really not that hard it just takes some behavioural changes with the way you get aroused, mastubate, and ejaculate.

I go over techniques for combatting each of these 3 causes in separate posts, so please subscribe to my blog to learn more! Also please ask me questions anonymously in the comments section below – I or one of the Doctors I worked with to create the Pea app will respond with advice to help you out!

To learn more and start reprogramming your nervous system and sexual response download the Pea training app now!

 

The creator of Pea, now 27 years old, reflects on his history with premature ejaculation and the reasons it happened to him.

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